A few weeks ago, when I asked for post idea suggestions on Instagram, my sister suggested that I should make an “if I were a filthy rich person” wish list. I liked the idea as I usually don’t spend much time on sites like net-a-porter and the like at all, so I thought I could give it a go. So, in the words of the incomparable Eartha Kitt:
Think of all the fun I’ve missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you’ll check off my Christmas list
1. Donna Karan Asymmetric Cashmere Sweater (adlink)
Because in Rich People Land you don’t have to worry about having cold shoulders in winter – you have a driver and you don’t have to think about the electric bill, ever! As long as it’s comfy and chic (and black) it’s all good. If there were more colors, I would buy those as well.
2. Lanvin Wool Beanie (adlink)
Because why buy a $40 good quality wool beanie when you can get a crystal-embellished one from Lanvin? And no, the embellishment is not detachable, so it really does have to be cleaned by a specialist – rich people don’t have to think about practicalities like that, dumbass! I would buy two, so that I could wear one while the other was at the dry-cleaner to get the foundation stains removed. Makeup wearers, you know what I’m talking about.
Yeah, I can’t crack a joke about this one. Look at it! Of course, I would worry about my jeans staining the white sheepskin, but rich people laugh at plebian worries like jean stains so neither would my imaginary rich self. I would wear this while slumming it downtown while scouring antique shops for the perfect Scandi Chic coffee table.
(I couldn’t find an adlink for this one, so if you end up buying it you can PayPal me that $100 commission directly, kthnx)
4. Bodas Cashmere Robe (adlink)
Because don’t you dare try suggesting that my body should be touched by common terrycloth after a shower! Terrycloth is for people who take the bus and run their own errands. Suckers.
5. Acne Studio Era shearling-trimmed wool coat (adlink)
Because I can’t always slum it downtown, can I? I would wear this with a huge wool scarf, but not an Acne Canada. Wearing Acne with Acne is like going to a rock concert wearing that same band’s shirt – total faux pas.
(And yes, I’m totally making this shit up)
6. Burberry Brit Checked cotton-Blend Shirt (adlink)
Because nothing says 90s throwback like 28% cashmere dry-clean only. I would pair these with SAINT LAURENT Distressed low-rise skinny jeans (adlink) for that authentic grunge feel. Kurt Cobain would be so proud.
Perfect for those short walks with The Poodle when I only need to bring my phone and some poopie bags. I can imagine the tassel making delightful jingle-jangle sounds, which would amuse both me and the canine. I could wear this over the shoulder or cross-body, depending on the chicness of the neighborhood I’m in.
8. Chloe Susanna studded leather ankle boots (adlink)
These would be my everyday boots. Low-heeled and sensible, but not regular-person-sensible, oh no. We’re talking $1400-sensible. Comfy, yet financially intimidating. Perfect.
And last but not least – these goat boots. I would wear these around the house and laugh, laugh, LAUGH the the fact that someone designed these and thought they were a good idea, that they ever made it to production, at the fact that I could buy them, and at the fact that there are people out there that think these look, like, so totally chic. Then I would laugh some more while rolling around in $100 dollar bills on my white cashmere couch while drinking red wine. Then I would take a nap.
What would you buy if you suddenly woke up filthy rich? And do you appreciate the fact that I bothered to adlink this shit? You can’t blame a girl for trying to hustle!