Hi guys! Maja told me how much you liked my last guest post, so here I am again. Long time no see! I’ve been totes busy eating, sleeping and chasing my squeaky frog toy around, but today I’m taking time out of my busy schedule to drop some knowledge on you. The holidays are upon us and many of you are probably getting ready to travel home to your families right now, so what better time for a travel routine post?
The first order of business when you are going on a trip is to order your tickets. Maja did that for me (she’s sort of my PA), and she also packed my luggage for me. For Christmas we (she) packed my rain coat, my custom striped alpaca sweater, my winter onesie, and my yellow reflector vest. We also packed my leash, my food, a roll of bags for unmentionables and my Christmas dress. Damn right I have a Christmas dress – more on that later! Maja also stuffed a pack of kleenex in my bag, in case I should pee inside one of the airports. That girl has no faith in me.
The luxe travel bag
This is my travel bag. It is by the brand Sherpa, and I like it very much. I get super excited every time Maja takes it out of storage and I like to sit in it. It has a soft faux-sheepskin bedding at the bottom, and the zippers are very sturdy. I’m small enough to be Maja’s hand luggage inside the cabin, which is super practical! We borrowed a cheap travel bag once for my very first flight, and the zippers were so loose that I managed to get out of my bag during takeoff. Quelle disaster! I don’t understand why I can’t just sit on Maja’s lap during flights, but apparently I can’t because she had to get the person next to her to help her stuff me back into the bag. So humiliating.
Airplane floors can get very cold in winter, so I like to wear a sweater whenever I fly. It also has the added bonus of making me look extra cute, which instantly puts stressed-out travelers in a better mood when they see me. I’m like a bug-eyed, fluffy piece of visual xanax.
The optional fancy outfit
We toyed with the idea of having me travel in my Christmas dress, but we decided against it. You can’t subject unsuspecting travelers of this much cuteness. They would forget where they were going and end up in Aberdeen instead of Stockholm, or something. With great power comes great responsibility.
Fun fact: Maja bought the dress as my Christmas present last year when I spent Christmas with The Boyfriend and his family. He didn’t know I was getting it, so he had to unwrap it for me in front of his entire family on Christmas Eve. I think she thought it would embarrass him or something. I don’t care, I got a super cool dress.
Proper airport conduct
This is us waiting to board the plane. There was a delay and I was totes bored. It was also surprisingly warm inside the airport, that’s why I’m not wearing my sweater. I was wearing it through security though, which was a blast. Lots of strangers said hello, and one guy even asked Maja where she got me. “Nice toy”, he said, and I got offended until I remembered that I am a toy poodle. Duh. Some fellow travelers were concerned and asked if I had to travel in storage with the suitcases, and I was all “Bitch, do I LOOK like a suitcase?”
Discretion is key
This is me on the plane – can you see me? No, of course you can’t see me, nobody can! I’m under the seat in front! I don’t mind flying, so I’m as quiet as a mouse during the entire flight. I do like to make a lot of noise when we have landed though, in case Maja should forget to take me with her off the plane. She says I sound like a mix between a whiny cat and an old-fashioned modem, and this is usually when people realize that they have been traveling with a tiny dog next to them. She takes me out of my bag once she’s out on the tarmac, and then I’m as happy as a clam. This also means I get too pee before we enter the airport main building, which is also very important. A girl can only hold it in for so long.
This is me and my cousin Luna: I made it to my destination! Luna is an 11-year old dachshund, and we’re basically frenemies. She thinks I’m small and annoying, and I make sure she doesn’t get too close to Maja. Bitch has to watch her step and know her boundaries, you feel me? The first time I visited she spent three days sulking in the office, but now she just ignores me.
I don’t ignore her though, I’ve got my eyes on her. Keep your friends close and your frenemies closer.
I hope this was super useful for you, and that I inspired you to further improve your own travel routines!
Do you have a travel routine? Do you get to travel in the cabin, or do you have to sit in storage with the suitcases? And do you have a frenemy?